grox:

darubyprincx:

“dont die” is my favorite thing to tell people when they say theyre gonna go do something. going to the store? dont die. going to the bathroom? don’t die. going to Mars? don’t die. going to write an email? don’t die. driving to the gas station? don’t die. it fits every situation except for maybe a funeral visitation because then i think thatd be a little bit rude

spelldealer:

outfit idea

only-tiktoks:

rosenkranz-isnt-dead:

zoomar:

The Jersey Devil is a Hoax

Local official try to put down a Jersey Devil scare in Gibbstown in 1951.

disteal:

The burning man debacle is rly captivating to me in the ‘convention dumpster fire poetic irony’ sense. Like ur telling me these silicon valley crystal guys are stuck in a flooding lake bed after calling the cops on climate change protestors holding up traffic into the festival? By telling the cops these unarmed protestors had a gun? Fantastic. And they’re dying from exposure- oh they’re scaring the shit out of each other with a fake ebola scare??? Of course. I’m sure they’re handling that normally. Just saw a video from a guy at the festival saying folks need to stop being ‘negative’ about the people who didn’t survive the night. And they can’t leave the flooding lake bed because nobody can move their cars- It appears Chris Rock and Diplo have escaped the lake bed by walking out, as it was only a few miles until they hit regular traffic. We do not know the state of the burning man sex plane, the plane at burning man you book to have sex in, which exists. Never before seen cataclysmic impact to the ‘white women with $5k veneers and box braids’ community.

c3rvida3:

c3rvida3:

During a hike a few years ago, I was, like, taking the proper tick precautions, tucking my pants into my socks, etc. and everyone was making fun of me for being so freaked about ticks, and later the topic of genie wishes came up and one of the girls there said, “I’d wish that ticks could fly so Newt would kill himself.”

I appreciate the concern, but I laughed so hard I almost threw up.

paulgadzikowski:

fremedon:

ratgirl-big-tits:

ruckuscauser:

shredsandpatches:

mr-craig:

finally-figured-it-out:

finally-figured-it-out:

There was a young man from Peru

Whose limericks stopped at line two

There once was a man from Verdun

There once was a man from the sticks
Whose limericks stopped at line six.
They were fine till line five
Then they took quite a dive —
But the problem is easy to fix
If you just ignore the last line, it doesn’t even follow the rhyme scheme oh god I’ve really lost control of this thing I’m so sorry…

There once was a man

From Cork who got limericks

And haiku confused.

There once was a man from the sticks

Who liked to compose limericks

But he failed at the sport

Because he wrote them too short

@limerickshere

There once was a fellow named Dan,
Whose poetry never would scan.
When told this was so,
He replied, “Yes, I know–
It’s because I try to squeeze as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can.”

On Tumblr did lasses and lads
Their way with fail poetry had.
You’re having your fun
But you’re fooling no one -
It takes skill to do something this bad.

animusrox:

Breaking Bad + No Context (Part 1)

bey-life: